There is a shortage of people in this world who are truly self-aware: people who actually notice the effect they are having on others and willing/able to modify their approach based on that feedback. Self-awareness is a huge part of emotional intelligence, a trait that maximizes every relationship at home and at work. Some action steps for you might be:
- Take self-assessments to know yourself well. Get re-acquainted with your personality style, your core values, your strengths, your passions, and your love languages. (I can point you to assessments on all of these if you reach out at firstname.lastname@example.org.) Study the intricacies of the results to know what better to dial-up and dial-down to be true to yourself.
- Keep the focus on others until you have assessed the kind of person to whom you are talking, in order to custom-treat them. Pick up cues on what they love to discuss and avoid land-mines of what triggers their irritations.
- Slow down your communication. It’s when you speak hastily or too excitedly when you most often put your feet in your mouth. Think through what you will say and run it through the filter “How will this message be best received?”
- Keep your antennae up, to better “read the room” on others’ responses to your words/behavior. Watch their body language/facial expressions and listen to their tone of voice when they speak after you do, to determine your next move: if well-received, you continue. If you get negative/confusing feedback, ask a curious question to check out what you are feeling.
- Utilize safe people that care about you to mirror back how you are coming across. Humbly ask for feedback and seek to understand how they saw you present yourself.
Truly care about leaving people better than you found them–about enhancing their lives–and you will find yourself working harder on being the kind of self-aware person that adds value (and doesn’t leave messes) wherever you go.
Are we connected on LinkedIn yet? Reach out for me at Paul D. Casey of Growing Forward Services so our communication can be two-way! And thanks for sharing anything I write that inspires you…